Trailer Terrors: Piranha 3D (2010)

Dear Diary, today I have reaffirmed myself why its never okay to go swimming in a lake.

With its theatrical premiere having only arrived last Friday you've probably heard the reviews ad nauseum about Alexandre Aja Aja's re-imagining of Piranha and... well, I have to agree that everything you've heard is indeed true. Eli Roth does indeed refer to a woman's breasts as "Danny DeVitoes."

Though not a mind-blowing film by any stretch of the imagination Piranha 3D brilliantly accomplishes what it sets out to do, namely parade a bunch of smoking hot, topless girls and Jersey Shore dropout men as the killer chum they were born to be. And that's a good thing. You never really hate these people for being so sexy, but as any horror fan historian will tell you: sex(y) always equals death. I suppose attractive people just die prettier than us normal folk.

The special effects themselves were generally spot on to the point of being downright hyperrealistically humorous. Nothing is held back and if there was anything that the censors removed I'd be scared to see it myself. From the aforementioned gratuitous female nudity to a wince-inducing aquatic castration, effects studio KNB really delivered. The piranha, in particular, were an effect that had me a little worried from the previews, but rest assured that the CG is near seamless in context to both the atmosphere of the film and its central cast of characters.

Even in spite of the palatable use of 3D technology and the inflated price tag that comes with it, Piranha 3D is a thrill ride well worth admission and deserves as much fan support it can get. Take note Hollywood, this is how a horror movie is made. (BTW- Elizabeth Shue? Hot as ever.)


  1. Emily said...:

    Yup, I loved it. I did kind of hate all the young pretty people (except for the often naked brunette, who surprised me by being the most likable character in the film) but that just made watching them die more exciting. A win for me!

  1. Andrew said...:

    Dug it, not as much as the roriginal but still dug it.

    (so many kids get eaten by Piranah at a summer camp in the original and this one can't get rid of two ankle biters?)

  1. Strange Kid said...:

    @Emily: It's funny you mention that because I thought that the brunette would have survived seeing as how likeable she was, but I guess in an Aja film no one is really safe! :)

    @Andrew: Yeah, the original definitely played up a more sinister kill frenzy, but I really did enjoy the more gore-laden depiction of the remake.

  1. Anonymous said...:

    That was the type of movie that made me glad I walk on the straight and narrow...and don't swim in lakes.

    Except I couldn't bear to see what happened with the girl who got her hair stuck in the boat propeller...I knew it wasn't going to be good, but I remember reading an article that mentioned a Turkish film where a guy posing as Spider-Man kind of does the same thing to a helpless woman...but she's buried up to her neck in sand. Ick.

  1. Strange Kid said...:

    @LaDracul: The propeller scene certainly made me wince. I do believe that I screamed like a girl when I saw it. The penis scene was a little gag-inducing as well.

    I've never heard of this Turkish film, but if its got Spider-Man torturing helpless ladies in sand traps, it sounds like a worthwhile find. Do you remember the name of it?

  1. Anonymous said...:

    Found it, it's called "3 Dev Adam" (The Three Magnificent Men) and includes Captain America and a Mexican Wrestler...

    The scene in question is shown in this clip-

  1. Strange Kid said...:

    @LaDracul: That is quite frankly THE most insane thing I've ever witnessed. Ever. Haha, you just made my Friday morning!!

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