Trailer Terrors: Bruiser

Welcome to the first day of Romero Week, a new event put together by none other than that fright-fueled fiend Johnny Boots from Freddy in Space. Created to coincide with the upcoming release of George Romero's newest zombie flick, Survival of the Dead, Romero Week is a week long celebration of the director's greatest (and not so greatest) cinematic achievements.

Participants include Kristy Jett and Ben Scrivens from the kick-ass Fright Rags, BJ-C from Day of the Woman, Zach Shildwachter from Z For Zombies, and Bill Adcock from Radiation Scarred Reviews and include a smorgasbord of exclusive interviews and special features so be sure to visit each of the sites listed above throughout the week. For my part, Strange Kids Club will be tailoring its Trailer Terrors feature to dig up some of Romero's lesser known gruesome gems beginning with Bruiser (2000).

Released on the cusp of the new millenium, Bruiser is a different kind of Romero film whose focus is more mind-bending giallo than it is a straight up stalk n' slash thriller. A little of a slow burn, the film serves as a subtext for anti-aggressive repression that remains a familiar ingredient in many of today's news stories of spontaneous violence or terrorism. As Henry Creedlow, actor Jason Flemyng does a decent job at playing an inverted PR agent who is constantly humiliated in every aspect of his life. As you can imagine this constant verbal abuse chips away at Creedlow until one morning he awakes a completely new man... sort of.

Rather he awakes with no identity at all, a stark white mask in place of his once sullen face, Creedlow has mysteriously been granted a new lease on life and he's hellbent and making this one count. The film only gets more twisted as the story progresses and even offers a few disquieting laughs thanks to actor Peter Stormare as the Creedlow's deviantly malevolent Milo Styles. It's definitely a much quieter selection by Romero (sharing much more in common with Martin that is often overlooked in favor of his zombie epic, but one that exemplifies the director's diversity. Totally worth a rental.

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Trailer Terrors: Body Melt (1993)

Stage 1: Hallucinations.
Stage 2: Organ Failure.
Stage 3: Total Body Melt.

I admit that the clubhouse has been rather skimp on the horror lately, but if there is any film that could make up for a week's worth of Trailer Terrors its Body Melt.

God bless those crazy-ass Kiwis for perfecting such a gruesome genre of horror films as splattergore/splatstick. Very much in the vein of Peter Jackson's Dead Alive or Jim Muro's Street Trash, but with the budget of Bad Taste, Body Melt is an indie horror film full of over-acting cast members, fountains of sticky body fluids (all kinds), and most importantly horrid melting monstrosities eating Kangaroos. Seriously, at one point two of the films less desirable mutation murders a kangaroo with a rock and proceed to devour its adrenal gland for the "rush."

Add to that some pretty sweet special effects, none of that CGI crap here, and a general plot so simple that you can still follow it while intoxicated and it leaves me to wonder why this film is more widely known. The music also plays a huge factor in the film, with a frantic, electronic sound that almost makes you feel as though you're at a rave for the clinically insane which is funny when you consider the social subtext that director Philip Brophy has cleverly inserted beneath the silly, crude humor. In the end, it proves to be this duality between blood-soaked satire and outrageous visual effects that grants the film a second life.

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Trailer Terrors: Darkman (1990)

Creature of the night, defender of the weak, he is all of these and more. He is Darkman!

When I was given the opportunity to throw in my two cents here at the Clubhouse for the Trailer Terrors feature, I thought it’d only be appropriate to dig deep into my warped childhood to a find a film that has left an undeniable impression on me and forever sealed my fate as a strange kid. It didn’t take very long… the minute I happened upon the title of today’s flick, an irrepressible grin spread across my face that beamed with the warmest familiarity. Like a beacon of light shining from the shadows, that mysterious figure of justice known only as Darkman rose from the ashes for another bloody battle against crime in my DVD player!

Darkman was once a normal man, a scientist named Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson) who was devising a formula for synthetic skin, the secret to the material’s consistency always eluding him. Just when he reaches the brink of discovery and finds that the skin holds together in the dark, his lab is taken under siege by a gang of criminals looking for a memo detailing the illegal affairs of corrupt businessman Louis Strack Jr. (Colin Friels).

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Trailer Terrors: House of the Wolfman (2009) | Full Review

It's like Ed Wood rose from the grave, only with a better sense of direction and special effects.

Just to give you guys an idea of how long I've been waiting to see this film, I first wrote about it last Halloween (see post) while it was still making its rounds at independent screenings and festival circuits. Fast forward to present day and I now hold in my hand the unholy grail of recent horror cinema... or is it?

The plot, like oh so many of those classic fright films, revolves around a slightly mad scientist who has invited a group of young people to his castle by offering them each a chance to inherit his vast estate and resources. Each member arrives single file as Bela Reinhardt (played by a stone-faced Ron Chaney) proceeds to [annoyingly] deliver psychological profiles on each ad nauseam. There's some spooky, Scooby-Doo type shenanigans that unfold and then Bela delivers his pièce de résistance... he's actually *GASP* a werewolf! I won't spoil the second half of the "twist," suffice to say by that point the surprise has pretty much been spoiled anyway.

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Trailer Terrors: I Didn't Come Here to Die (2010) - NSFW

Volunteer Work Can Be a Killer.

I ordinarily don't cover too many of the new films that come out because... well, most of them suck. This debut feature length film by writer/director Bradley Scott Sullivan, however, had me at "chainsaw to the face." The official website for the film doesn't reveal too much information at the moment as it mostly consists of teaser photos and this trailer (see above).

According to IMDb, the plot follows

six young volunteers working on a humanitarian project in the woods. Horrific accidents, rash decisions and the unpredictability of human nature leads them all to the same disturbing conclusion.

The trailer would seem to indicate that the film will definitely have a vintage look to it, much like recent House of the Devil, with a strong Friday the 13th/The Burning vibe. I'm not sure as to the official release date for this indie smorgasbord of gory glory, but you can be sure that I'll be keeping my eye on this one from here on out.

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Trailer Terrors: PacMan The Movie

Saw meets old school arcade coolness.

That statement about sums up this epic slice of April Fool's Day foolishness by Therefore Productions. The indie filmmakers posted this retro remake yesterday (April 1st) and have already received over 50,000 hits (and well deservedly so)! The studio had this to say of their creation:

This 2-minute trailer satirizes and skewers Hollywood’s love for taking video games with barely any plot (e.g. Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, etc.) and turning them into abominably bad feature films. In this trailer, Pacman is given the “Saw” treatment — enter a dark and disturbing world filled with pellets, ghosts, and yes, Pacman.

It would definitely make for a sweet haunted house theme. Want more pop culture inspired PacMan madness? Insert quarter here. Be sure to tell 'em Strange Kid sent you.

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Trailer Terrors: House of the Wolfman (2009)

A truer homage to classic Universal horror films than any remake in recent memory, The House of the Wolfman by My Way Pictures is an indie film of frightfully high caliber. Shot in black and white, 1:33 aspect ratio The House of the Wolfman not only has the heart of its hallowed horror inspirations, but their appearance as well.

Starring Ron Chaney (grandson of the original Wolf Man, Lon Chaney, Jr.), the film follows a similar concept to House on Haunted Hill, albeit with a monster-inspired twist, as Dr. Bela Reinhardt (Chaney) invites five people to his castle to see which of them will inherit his estate. Apparently the good doctor plans on having a competition of sorts to see who can survive the monsters, murderers, and other terrors. With a very restricted theatrical release at the moment, we can only hope that the film (and its exquisite makeup effects) garners enough attention to show Hollywood its horror roots again.

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Trailer Terrors: Munchies (1987)

No one kills my tropical fish and lives!

Following the late 80s trend of taking something scary and making it funny, Munchies (1987) is a surprisingly enjoyable monster movie where the fact the titular terrors are puppets is hilariously poignant.

Unlike the previously featured Hobgoblins (1988), Munchies delivers a certain flair that precedes the slapstick self-awareness of Gremlins 2 (1990) or Ghoulies IV (1994). Full of ham-handed sight gags and scalable special effects, the movie definitely plays more towards being a comedy than it does trying to be scary.

The plot centers around a space archaeologist (played by Harvey Korman) and his discovery of the aforementioned creatures while on an excavation in Peru. Taking the little monsters home to America, they are soon stolen by his greedy twin brother who wants them to peddle his snack food products. We soon discover, however, that the Munchies have a terrible secret for when you try to harm them, they multiply— hellbent on revenge.

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Trailer Terrors: The Tripper

So today is Presidents Day, huh? Like the bastard child of some anonymous holiday hook-up, Presidents Day has always seemed to lack the luster of its more illustrious holidays such as Halloween of Christmas. Heck, even Martin Luther King Day seems to get more props than Presidents Day. Even though it was founded with the purpose of paying respect to our first President, George Washington, there's never been much to look forward to aside from erroneous car sales and getting another reprieve from the drudgery of school.

Its even proved to be too boring for most horror movie directors to tackle, albeit there have been those that tried. Take David Arquette's The Tripper for instance (see trailer above). Though flawed in its own right, at least its an honest attempt at making politicians scarier than they already are. Sure it doesn't hold a flame to Friday the 13th or Black Christmas, but its hard to hate a film that tries this hard. Full of blatant drug use, graphic violence, and explicit nudity The Tripper is as decent an ode to the politics if I've ever seen one. So there ya go, happy President's Day everybody!

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Trailer Terrors: The Beast Within (1982)

He Was On The Verge Of Becoming A Man... Eater!

While the initial trailer had me pretty skeptical of The Beast Within, I must admit that I was thoroughly impressed upon seeing the actual visual effects the voiceover so suggestively implies is the film's raison d'être (yeah, that's right, I know some French).

Originally released in 1982 The Beast Within tells the story of a young couple, Caroline and Eli MacCleary, who become stranded in the desert while on their honeymoon. Caroline is attacked and raped by some gruesome creature and left for dead. She doesn't die, though, and as a result of the rape ends up conceiving a child, Michael. Unbeknownst to his parents or himself, Michael is a very special boy and a sudden illness begins to overcome him. I won't spoil the ending for you, suffice it to say there's cannibalism involved and some simply incredible creature effects.

Having emerged in the wake of another special effects laden film, An American Werewolf in London (1981), the dramatic emphasis on the film's transformation sequence as "shocking" and "grotesque" to draw in fans is acceptable and while the film itself, with a screenplay by Tom Holland (Child's Play, Fright Night) isn't particularly frightening it does a do a decent job of conveying the violent morality that there is a "beast" that lies within us all.

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Trailer Terrors: Wounded Embark of the Lovesick Mind

A psychological anti-love story.

If you're a regular here at the clubhouse you may remember the name Gris Grimly from a few weeks back. If not, better catch up quick 'cause it seems that the 'ole Mad Creator himself is gearing up for the fast track of film-making.

When we last spoke to Grimly, we spoke briefly about his short film follow-up to Cannibal Flesh Riot! called Wounded Embark of the Lovesick Mind, a titled that perhaps perfectly captures the artists uniquely Poe-etic sense of drama and horror. Well it would seem that the film has entered post-production as the maestro himself has released the official trailer (see above).

In addition, Grimly revealed some tasty tidbits regarding his next major motion picture collaboration: Pinocchio. Helmed by both Guillermo Del Toro (Producer) and The Jim Henson Company, Grimly remarked that he would be

...co-directing with a stop motion veteran (who's name is yet to be announced) and Nick Cave is on board to compose the original score. MacKinnon and Saunders are also involved in the puppet fabrication. There are interested voice talents that only add to how promising this project will be, but I cannot announce them yet.

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Trailer Terrors: Monster in the Closet (1987)

"DESTROY ALL CLOSESTS!" I knew growing up that there had to be some other reason to fear the closet than some creepy clown named Pennywise and gosh darn it if Troma hasn't proven me right with Monster in the Closet.

Just look at those...silly, rubber teeth? And that gross... hand puppet demon? Well, okay, so Monster in the Closet isn't the scariest movie in the world, nor is it intended to be. Right for the opening scene in the trailer, its plain to see that what Troma has created here is more of a comedy spoof than the next great horror movie monster and though I haven't had the pleasure to see it myself, the reviews on Amazon seem pretty favorable. If only it wasn't out of print I'd say it'd make for a fun Saturday popcorn flick rental.

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Trailer Terrors: Monkey Boy (1990)

They made him. They raised him. Now he's coming out to play.

Monkey Boy is one of those European imports that dwells in cinematic obscurity thanks to some heavy edits and poor repackaging. Originally billed as 4-part miniseries called Chimera in the UK, the US release is actually a heavily edited version of director Lawrence Clark's initial vision.

Having only seen the trailer myself I can't really speculate on how much of that vision was lost in the import though according to other reviews I've seen online, the general consensus seems to be that it strips out much of the characterization that takes place in the beginning of the miniseries.

Much like the upcoming film Splice with Adrien Brody, Monkey Boy explores the taboo world of genetic research as scientists at a fertility clinic scheme to create something that is half human and half monkey (thus the US re-title). The creature (Chad) manages to escape at some point thanks to his superhuman strength which, of course, instigates a manhunt for his return. From there the film explores the Chad's struggle with his childlike naivety and more primal instincts as he brutally bludgeons and stabs his way back to the clutches of his creator. Stabs? Oh yes, seems this chimp has a bit of slasher in him and... wait, is that a Freddy Kruger sweater he has on?

The effects (from what I've seen both in photo stills and footage) are an eerily convincing collaboration between makeup artist Bob Keen (Hellraiser, Nightbreed) and Peter Elliott, an animal trainer with experience consulting for film. Lest we forget, the creature himself is portrayed by actor Douglas Mann who played a similar simian role in Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes.

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Trailer Terrors: Prison (1988)

Horror has a new home.

Directed by superstar Finnish director Renny Harlin (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, Exorcist: The Beginning), Prison is a phenomenal (if not slightly cliché) film that I learned about while watching the equally great documentary Never Sleep Again.

Starring Viggo Mortensen (with a spot-on performance by veteran Lane Smith), the plot revolves around a haunted prison which hosts the spirit of an angry former inmate named Charlie Forsyth. It seems 'ole Charlie has been trapped in the facility's electric chair and when the prison undergoes some renovations all hell breaks loose as Charlie released to wreak havoc on its new denizens. Pretty standard fare for a film involving ghosts and/or a prison, but the real surprise is in Harlin's treatment of the script which features plenty of dark atmosphere, ultraviolence and a fair amount of gore.

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Trailer Terrors: Evil Toons (1992)

First they undress you. Then they possess you!

A strange brew of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and William Castle's House on Haunted Hill, Evil Toons (1992) is a unique breed of film whose mix of horror and comedy teeters on the edge of juvenile indecency.

Starring Dick Miller (Gremlins), David Carradine and comedian Arte Johnson, the "plot" of Evil Toons follows a group of scantily clad teenage girls who are invited to stay in a haunted house in exchange for a small sum of money. At some point during the night a creepy old man (David Carradine) shows up to deliver a Necronomicon-esque sketchbook that contains a mischievously deviant drawing. The rest of the film consists of the terror toon chasing the half-naked coeds in an attempt to possess and/or violate them.

If you're into films like Student Bodies (1981), Scream Queen Hot Tub Party (1991) or Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988) than Evil Toons is definitely up your alley. And if not? I say still give it a chance. Sure it won't win any Rondo awards, but with the 20th Anniversary Edition slated to drop in May with special features that include a director's commentary track, original trailer, special "Making Of" video documentary, original Nite Owl Theater segment and Evil Toons Suite by Chuck Cirino it couldn't be all that bad... could it?

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Trailer Terrors: Deadly Friend (1986)

There's no one alive who will play with the girl next door.

Another film that I was inspired to watch after seeing Never Sleep Again, Deadly Friend is Wes Craven's first outing since his "sleeper" hit A Nightmare on Elm Street and was released one year after its sequel in 1986.

As a Wes Craven film, the plot is pretty convoluted and really what I would expect from the same director who did A Nightmare on Elm Street or Shocker. If there is anything that Craven has proven time and again, however, its that he tends to be a little unpredictable... and that's not a bad thing. Deadly Friend is just that: not a bad thing. It's not great (or altogether believable), but worth at least one viewing all the same.

As I mentioned, the story is a little confusing and essentially follows a young inventor named Paul who builds a semi-psychotic robot named BB out of loneliness to be his pal. Shortly thereafter, Paul and his mother relocate to a new home where Paul retains his outcast status as a nerd and lusts after hot, neighbor girl Samantha Pringle (yeah, she's named after a potato chip), played by Kirsty Swanson

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Trailer Terrors: Werewolf Women of the S.S.

In an attempt to give Rob Zombie the some much needed cred, I sought out this trailer concept for the latent Grindhouse movie, thinking it would [perhaps] make a freaking kick-ass film. And to be honest, its as pretty insane as I remember it to be. Filled to the brim with gore, nudity and genre cameos aplenty, Werewolf Women of the S.S. contains all the right elements to make it a cult classic. An added bonus? It's not another Hollywood remake.

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Trailer Terrors: Nightmare of Elm Street (2010)

It hasn't really occurred to me until this very moment, as I watch the new Nightmare of Elm Street (2010) trailer for the umpteenth time, but the glut of remakes that currently plague our theaters (more specifically horror-inspired remakes) has much in common with this immortal stalk n' slash.

Just as in the premise of each Nightmare film where the teenage protagonists are given the deadly choice between staying awake or suffering a grisly death sequence, we too are being given the choice between funding these often inane "homages" or fighting the monster in some sinisterly concocted finale. And, just like in the films, there are far too many of us who fall victim to the slasher, drifting asleep under the lull of action-packed trailers and the promise of something truly inspired (myself included).

Its funny when you think about, right? We're all just a bunch of teenagers (in spirit at least) fated to become Hollywood horror fodder like so many blonde-headed prom queens or long-chinned football jocks. So where's our Nancy? Who's destined to end the nightmare? *Yawn* Well, until then, I think I'll take myself a little nap.

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Trailer Terrors: Fright Show (1985)

A journey into the bizarre world of horror and science fiction lunacy.

It's finally happened... I've found a horror movie that is so rare and low-key that there is no trailer for it that exists on the internet. In fact, it took me a good day or so to discover any footage from the film at all.

The directorial debut of Damon Santostefano (The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Bring it On Again) Fright Show aka Cinemagic is actually an anthology of "scary" stories much in the vein of Creepshow or (more accurately) The Willies. Clocking in at less than a full hour, the lack of budget really shines, but surprisingly enough doesn't ruin the entire picture. Speaking of which, each segment is hosted by an amateurish corny duo of cable access co-hosts who unfortunately make the production feel more like a overdone skit by a local college theatre group instead of Starlog Video. Oh, did I forget to mention? This film was produced by a group of Starlog employees, the now defunct parent magazine of Fangoria.

Since this video is so rare I have only managed to see one full segment in addition to the clip above, Illegal Alien (see below), and even it has an Asian-dubbed overlay. The other three shorts were titled Dr. Dobermind (see clip above), featuring a taxidermist turned ice cream man; Nightfright, in which two little boys learn to fear the beasts under their bed; and The Thing in the Basement, a 50s homage to alien invasions. This is most definitely B-movie territory, but that's what makes its infamy all the more sweeter. I only wish that I could see it in all its grainy, direct-to-video VHS glory.

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Trailer Terrors: Old Scratch

Time to break out the vinyl records and Ouija boards.

It appears that my all-time favorite director, Robert Hall (Lightning Bug, Laid the Rest) has released a teaser trailer to his next film entitled Old Scratch and boy does it look grand (Grand-Guignol that is).

Produced by Hall's Dry County Entertainment imprint with effects by Almost Human FX, Old Scratch follows an Atlanta-based musician named Neven who has lost his way and, in attempt to escape his past, inadvertently unleashes a the forces of evil. The hook relies on the time-tested urban legend of playing a record backwards as a way to hear subliminal messages, much as Trick or Treat (1986) or The Gate (1987).

Hall has been one of many upcoming directors whose consistently released grade A horror films without regard to remakes, re-imaginings or ratings. I've been a huge fan of his work ever since being turned on to Lightning Bug by a good friend and loyal reader, and fellow artist (@victorandboris) in college back in 2009. Been a fan ever since and with Hall's impressive background in special effects and collaborators such as Ashley Laurence (Hellraiser, Lightning Bug) and Kevin Gage (Lightning Bug, Laid to Rest) its little wonder why. BTW... is that Rob Schneider I saw as a radio DJ?

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