Rocking Out with 'Ren & Stimpy's Crock O' Christmas'

Ever since I caught wind that original episodes of The Ren & Stimpy Show would be returning to Nickelodeon (albeit on its sister network, Nicktoons) this coming January I've been in an extra special nostalgia mood. So much that I started digging through my assortment of Ren & Stimpy related paraphernalia for the first time in years. Low and behold what did I find, but a copy of the dysfunctional animated duos Christmas-themed album, Ren & Stimpy's Crock O' Christmas.

With such classic holiday hymnals as 'Decorate Yourself' and 'It's a Wizzleteats Kind of Christmas,' Crock O' Christmas proved to me just why I so fondly remember the adolescent goofballs. Sure, some of the humor is crude, but let's be honest: when was the last time you've heard a fart joke delivered so masterfully as when Stimpy and his son Stinky (the Fart) reminisce in 'What Is Christmas?' I dare you to find a more endearing ode to feline projectile vomit than 'Cat Hairballs' or any album anywhere that has such a love for Yaks.

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Do the 'Monster Christmas Mash' and Get Down with Your Jolly Self

We're all pretty familiar with Bobby "Boris" Pickett's infamous album, Monster Mash. It makes sense the monsters would have much to celebrate during Halloween, but what do they do during Christmas? Apparently, if this 70s album release by Peter Pan Records is any indication, they still like to boogie down.

Full of such holly jolly jingles as "The Reason for Treason" and "The Creep Castle Chorus, Marching Band & Dissecting Society," Monster Christmas Mash is more of a fun collection of short skits and spoken word lyrics than it is actual music but it's nonetheless enjoyable listening to Igor and his Master debate the need for being good on Christmas eve or Dracula singing Jingle "Blahs" [Bells].

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Doctor Octoroc Presents: After These Messages

Artwork by Jude Buffum

Do you like cartoons? How about video games? Even old school TV commercials? Well of course you do, that's why you're here!

Well, as luck would have it that there's a new album that's just for you and it's not even the best part: you pick your own price! Composed by Doctor Octoroc and featuring a super-rad cover design by Jude Buffum (seriously, this guy's work is just downright cool), After These Messages features over "30 tracks inspired by classic TV shows, cartoons and commercials. Each track is arranged as the theme song for a theoretical 8-bit video game, much like titles found on the Nintendo Entertainment System."

Check out a preview above and then get your copy!

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Kicking off Christmas with the Crypt Keeper

"Make the Yule time gross and gnarly..."

Start your engines! Today marks the first day of December and the beginning of many "25 Days Of" style countdowns on televisions to remind us of the impending awesomeness that will ensue. AMC has been broadcasting Scrooged with a 4-night marathon, CBS aired Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer last night on prime time, and it won't be long before TBS brings the season home (ad nauseum) with 48 hours of A Christmas Story.

While all of that is good and well for about 90% of the general population, what you may ask does Christmas offer the non-conformist? Well, as luck would have it, there's the creeptastic caroling of John Kassir as the Cryptkeeper, whose holiday-themed album Have Yourself Scary Little Christmas includes such classics as Deck the Halls with Parts of Charlie, 'Twas the Fright Before Christmas, and my personal fave Revenge of the Cryptkeeper. Released way back in 1994 I had completely forgotten about this lost little gem until I saw a promo for it mischievously thrown in at the end of a sixth season Tales from the Crypt episode (see above).

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"Spooky Sounds" from the Underground

Artwork © David Hartman

I was recently asked by a friend and fellow reader O'Neal Pignani, aka Von Kreep, to review his newest project that's being released just in time for Halloween: The Spooky, Swinging Sounds of Kreepsville Manor. For those of you who are not familiar with Von Kreep's work he is the mastermind behind 1313 Magazine, the Cereal Killers art book (in progress) and the Headless Spectre Radio blog. Most recently he's been developing an animated short called Monstroville and he's one hell of a talented character designer/illustrator to boot.

So, when the Kreepster asked me to check out this latest release I jumped at the chance to see whether I had been handed a brand new Halloween favorite for the Shock Box. Boasting "a collection of 21 bone-chilling shock songs and sound f/x for Halloween fun" the soundtrack offers up an ample variety of genres mixing the rockabilly of Psycho Charger with the garage band surf of The Legendary Invisible Men rather well.

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Does Ozzy Still Have It? Let Me Hear You 'Scream!'

This is how rock should be: loud, fast and full of eye-liner.

With few exceptions (Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, Rob Zombie) my taste for metal music is somewhat... inhibited. Truth be told metal, in all its infinite forms, has just never really held much appeal to me. But, when someone I do admire (like Ozzy) releases a brand new album full of ear noise for the dark soul, the musically-inclined hell-raiser inside compels me to give it a listen. So I did.

I don't think that anyone would argue with Ozzy being one of the godfather's of modern day metal, but over the years he seems to have fallen into a viscous cycle of mediocre albums and single-driven tracks. His latest album (Scream) struggles to rise about the mediocrity of previous efforts with a new guitarist (Gus G) and a take charge attitude, but unfortunately can't escape its lack of inspiration.

While the album itself isn't bad, there are quite a few really good tracks in my opinion, it becomes clear the the source material just isn't deep enough to provoke any lasting imagery beyond the title. Ozzy does manage to mix up both the darker and lighter sides of his personality (like Soul Sucker), but also makes everything feel indecisive at the same time.

In the end I can't fault Ozzy for mixing it up a bit, but I would certainly be down with hearing more of the Prince of Darkness' "dark" side. Perhaps he just needs to poke around a little deeper in that inner basement... I'm certain there's still a few hungry beasties lurking in the shadows.

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O Zombie, Where Art Thou?

I don't know when it happened or even why, but Rob Zombie is quickly beginning to resemble his horror namesake... and that's not a good thing. With his more recent film efforts and, given the reception of Hellbilly Deluxe 2, his music making their slow descent into a sick cacophony of ravenous, mindless drivel I find myself wishing that the promise of Doc Brown's infamous Dolerian were true.

Perhaps the most tragic thing about this slow descent is that no one is kind enough to tell the man to his face: "Hey dude, you fucked up. Now what?" It doesn't have to be mean or degrading, just honest. Instead, you have people like Steve Appleford from the LA Times saying things like:

There is no instant hit of the "Living Dead Girl" variety, but across 11 songs, Hellbilly Deluxe 2 is Zombie's most consistently tuneful record to date.

Now, I could be wrong, but to me that's a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one. "So yeah, the songs don't suck but they do all sound the same. Congrats to Zombie for producing a monstrous collection of mediocrity." Is it just me, or isn't that saying the same thing?

Where's the blood, piss, and vinegar of original Hellbilly Deluxe or the elastically creative creepshows that defined his early music videos? Has Zombie grown up or has he grown tired? Granted the man is one of the hardest working creative minds I know, so why not take a break? Sit back for awhile and amass those cobwebs, let the shadows in and then come forth again like a "bat out of hell" and assault us village folk with the über-industrial toxicity of lore. Just like every honest monster worth his ilk, in the end the beast must die in order to come back, stronger than ever. 'Tis the fate of the beast to die and rise again, 'tis in its nature to slouch slowly towards some venomous Valhalla where he shall again be reborn.

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Keepin' Halloween Alive

In preparation for the first full week of October, new tracks have been added to the ShockBox, including Alice Cooper's new single Keepin' Halloween Alive! A return to form for the self-proclaimed "King of Halloween," this new release is reminiscent of classics like Feed My Frankenstein and The Man Behind the Mask and is sure to help you bring the fright right this year round.

Other new tracks include Ozzy Osbourne's Bark at the Moon, Michael Jackson's Thriller, and a Nightmare (Horror Mix) by Brainbug. PLUS an especially spunky single by Billy (Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy) entitled Scary-O. That's 65 sinfully sinister tracks to shake your bones whether you're at work, on the toilet, or walking around the tombstone!

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