Trailer Terrors: Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992)

"He kind of plays it fast and loose." 

Call it a guilty pleasure, but there's something about this time of year that puts me in the mood to watch a boatload of Chevy Chase films. Of course there's National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, but more than that I'm talking about Chase's classic fare like Caddyshack, Fletch, Nothing But Trouble, and (yep, you guessed it) Memoirs of an Invisible Man!

As one of the less fondly remembered Universal Monster, the Invisible Man has always had it kind of rough in terms making a lasting impression upon the horror world. Despite being the butt of many a joke, the Invisible Man does manage to work his way back into the Hollywood every so often (Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man, Hollow Man, several TV series) and in 1992 it just so happened that he fell in the lap of Chevy Chase by way of of John Carpenter. Yes, my friends, that same "master of horror" who brought us Halloween and They Live directed a comedy starring Chevy Chase as an Invisible Man. Can't get better than that, right?

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: Robot Jox (1990)

During the 1980's, and early 90's, the BattleTech franchise dominated the geek market with arena-style combat between monolithic robots called BattleMechs. From board games to video games, BattleMechs laid claim over aspiring computer engineers everywhere and formed a devoted and obsessed fan base that couldn't get enough of the series. It was no surprise then, that in 1990 Hollywood tapped in to the market with the full-feature film Robot Jox.

Directed by Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator) and co-written by Gordon and Joe Haldeman, Robot Jox hit the scene and then was quickly forgotten. The movie typically gets bad reviews, scoring only 4.7 stars on IMDB, but I personally enjoy Robot Jox despite it being low-budget and outdated. For some reason it still manages to keep me entertained and more so than most current films. It's like a hybrid between Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots and the movie Best of the Best. OK, I know that sounds bad, and maybe it's just the nostalgia from me remembering how much I loved robots as a child, but Robot Jox is a very fun, if not funny, movie to watch.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Head Games: Splatterhouse (2010)

"You've got red on you."

With an epic quest that began a little over a decade ago, the King of Carnage has returned to us in better shape than ever in a blood-drenched redux driven by revenge, ultra-violence and a whole lot of badassery. Full of abhorred mutations from another dimension and a mask with questionable (but very helpful) intentions, Splatterhouse begins as it typically does... with Rick Taylor reborn in blood and fueled by hate thanks to the mysterious Terror Mask.

Of course, one of the many things this new version of Splatterhouse does well is provide a plethora of more background information than previous entries in the franchise, essentially combining the storylines of all three games into a singular mythology.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Uncle Eerie's Howling Halloween Shiver Show

You may remember our 'ole Uncle Eerie from a few months back when we dropped by the clubhouse to shill out some of his trademark sinister sideshow mystique... and a bag of "authentic" shrunken heads. Well, that cool ghoul is back again and this time he's brought a boatload of his favorite friends with him for a special Halloween Shiver Show that aired this past October.

Equal parts Ren & Stimpy and Boris Karloff (by way of Groucho Marx), Eerie's unique brand of humor shines with a faux-commercial for candy-coated razor blades— the perfect treat for that little brat in your life. Segueing the typical Halloween horror movie special, Eerie gives us a showcase of classic cartoons, vintage toy commercials and an assortment of trailers. Things get started with Wot a Night, an oldie featuring the original Tom and Jerry as two cab drivers who find themselves trapped in a castle that offers more scares than cab fares. It was definitely my favorite of the bunch, though the "blackface" skeletons near the end was sort of a buzzkill.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Printed Perversions: The Astounding Wolf-Man Vol. 1

Thanks to the release of AMC's newest hit show, The Walking Dead, Robert Kirkman's name has quickly become synonymous with those carnivorous corpses we call zombies, and rightly so. An adaptation of the comic he co-created with Tony Moore, Kirkman has certainly made his mark on a sub-genre of horror that has squeezed every bit of originality from it's pores. Look no further than Resident Evil's latest film for proof of that.

Kirkman, however, is from from being a one hit wonder. In fact, soon after being exposed to The Walking Dead I found myself initiated into an entire universe full of creative characters and visually rich stories. From his humble beginnings in Battle Pope to his first runaway success, Invincible, the man has shown that he's not only a talented writer but he's got good taste in artists as well. Just ask Cory Walker, Ryan Ottley, or Jason Howard.

One of the books that I've heard the most about is the recently concluded The Astounding Wolf-Man and I have to admit that I naively chalked this one up as another cash-in on the rise in popularity of Hollywood's "horror crap" when it first appeared back in 2007. Oh, how I couldn't have been more wrong. The Astounding Wolf-Man brilliantly references that 70's archetype of a "monster as a main character" with equal proportions of superheroics, sci-fi and shock horror.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: The Boneyard (1991)

The Boneyard is a film that shares much in common with Syngenor in the fact that it has a great concept, but ultimately fails from an undecided mix of poor direction or underfunded production. The film rushes to open without the slightest bit of exposition or reason to care about any of the characters, made all the more relevant by a stark unevenness between the sound design and dialogue (or lack thereof, rather). In many parts its as though the score continues to drone on when really there should have been some audible reaction from the actors themselves; a gasp or a scream.

The pacing is just as inconsistent with the actors bouncing back and forth between impassioned and believable to ludicrously absurd and though it's certainly not the worst I've ever seen it definitely sabotages the storyline. The only exception(s) to this that I saw was any scene that included wild-haired Phyllis Diller who, as Mrs. Poopenplatz (yes, Poop-en-platz), steals the spotlight with an offbeat enthusiasm worthy of Night of the Demons. Likewise, the visual effects are pretty stunning and while certain elements of the film that were schlock (such as a 7 foot poodle monster), the zombies children themselves came off as chillingly haunting as anything I've ever seen which makes sense given director James Cummins background in special effects design.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Printed Perversions: Bela Lugosi's Tales from the Grave #1

Writers
Kerry Gammill, Sam F. Park, James Farr, Rob Brown, Derek McCaw, John Cassaday, Joe Freire, Martin Powell, Gary D. Rhodes

Artists
Kerry Gammill, Chris Moreno, John Cassaday, Rafael Navarro, Joe Freire, Terry Beatty, Tom Smith, Brian Denham, Kez Wilson, Jeff Preston, Frank Dietz, Paul Garner, Kim Loh

Publisher
Monsterverse Entertainment

Release Date
Wed, November 3rd 2010

Halloween may be over, but that doesn't mean that all of the monsters have gone away. In fact, some of the best ones never die. Case in point, Kerry Gammill and Monsterverse Entertainment have resurrected the king of vampires himself, that grand ghoul, Bela Lugosi for a tome of terror tales that is sure to bring twisted grins to any self-respecting "crypt dweller."

The first issue of Bela Lugosi's Tales from the Grave begins with a bone-chilling tale of a mad scientist's obsession with immortality. Mix in some paranoia with a good dose of envy and Unpleasant Side Effects by Sam Park and Kerry Gammill offers a jaw-dropping introduction with a pitch perfect ending.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Short Film Review: Contact

At only a little over 11 minutes, Contact delivers a skin-crawling atmosphere that exudes paranoia that borders on Hitchcockian. With only a few lines of dialogue this short film by director Jeremiah Kipp is truly one of "sight and sound" that plays like a bad trip from William S. Burroughs' Naked Lunch thanks to Tom Burns' foreboding score.

Do you remember that scene in Demolition Man between Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock where they start to make out in some trippy, virtual reality simulator? Imagine that if it were choreographed by David Cronenberg and you might have an idea of the psychotropic vibe that this short emanates with it's decidedly dystopian tone.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: Night of the Demons (2009)

"No costume, no candy motherf#cker!"

So last year's Night of the Demons remake has finally made it home, but was it worth the wait? In not so many words... HELL YES. While the film as a whole is not the best the genre has seen it does stand in my mind as one of the best remakes in the past decade.

It's quite impossible to please everyone, but Night of the Demons treads that fine line between paying homage to the original and upping the ante for a younger audience of gory-hungry horror hounds. It all starts with a splatterific silent film sequence that helps to set the stage for the film's new backstory which, in my opinion, was indifferent to the film's conclusion but didn't manage to detract from the story either.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Printed Perversions: Edge of Doom #1

"Don't call it an anthology!"

It's not easy to convey a sense of dread in comics, where suspense is more of a voluntary illusion than a plot device, but that's exactly what Steve Niles and Kelly Jones have managed to achieve with their first issue of IDW's Edge of Doom. Whether it be Niles' innate ability to make the fantastical seem absolutely possible or Jones' gruesomely gorgeous depictions of blood, guts and gore, Edge of Doom #1 is the closest experience I've had to reading a modern day Tales from the Crypt.

That Edge of Doom manages to tap into this history of horror comics is a true testament to the talents of both men, not to forget the superbly somber coloring of Jat Fotos. Having last paired up on DC's Batman: Gotham After Midnight, the duo form the strongest creative team I've seen since Niles collaboration with Ben Templesmith on 30 Days of Night and Criminal Macabre and it's no surprise that much of the creep factor is inspired by the horror genre itself such as a nod to The Gate, The Twilight Zone and the aforementioned Tales from the Crypt.

Continue reading...

Tweet

"Spooky Sounds" from the Underground

Artwork © David Hartman

I was recently asked by a friend and fellow reader O'Neal Pignani, aka Von Kreep, to review his newest project that's being released just in time for Halloween: The Spooky, Swinging Sounds of Kreepsville Manor. For those of you who are not familiar with Von Kreep's work he is the mastermind behind 1313 Magazine, the Cereal Killers art book (in progress) and the Headless Spectre Radio blog. Most recently he's been developing an animated short called Monstroville and he's one hell of a talented character designer/illustrator to boot.

So, when the Kreepster asked me to check out this latest release I jumped at the chance to see whether I had been handed a brand new Halloween favorite for the Shock Box. Boasting "a collection of 21 bone-chilling shock songs and sound f/x for Halloween fun" the soundtrack offers up an ample variety of genres mixing the rockabilly of Psycho Charger with the garage band surf of The Legendary Invisible Men rather well.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: Darkman (1990)

Creature of the night, defender of the weak, he is all of these and more. He is Darkman!

When I was given the opportunity to throw in my two cents here at the Clubhouse for the Trailer Terrors feature, I thought it’d only be appropriate to dig deep into my warped childhood to a find a film that has left an undeniable impression on me and forever sealed my fate as a strange kid. It didn’t take very long… the minute I happened upon the title of today’s flick, an irrepressible grin spread across my face that beamed with the warmest familiarity. Like a beacon of light shining from the shadows, that mysterious figure of justice known only as Darkman rose from the ashes for another bloody battle against crime in my DVD player!

Darkman was once a normal man, a scientist named Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson) who was devising a formula for synthetic skin, the secret to the material’s consistency always eluding him. Just when he reaches the brink of discovery and finds that the skin holds together in the dark, his lab is taken under siege by a gang of criminals looking for a memo detailing the illegal affairs of corrupt businessman Louis Strack Jr. (Colin Friels).

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: Candy (2010)

Everyone has a sweet tooth.

As the tagline suggests, there's something sinister afoot on Halloween and it has something to do with a woman named Candy. A joint production between StarFruit Prodcutions and Bloody Unique Entertainment, Candy is a short film that I was recently invited to see by Creator and Actor, Jesse Kozel. Having read a brief review of the film over at AtomicFox's site a few days earlier, and hearing murmurs about the film online since its debut this past September, I was definitely interested to see just how sweet this indie effort really was.

As a whole the film relies heavily on a suspension of disbelief to achieve its overtly Hitchcockian intent. This need for suspension becomes primarily important in regard to the rather odd relationship between the film's two main cast members; Marcus (played by Kozel) and his mother, Candy (played by Sage Hall). Hall does her best to channel the psychotic, motherly persona of Wendy Robie in People Under the Stairs (and does so with some success), but ultimately seems to lack that certain bit of sadistic charm in her execution.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: House of the Wolfman (2009) | Full Review

It's like Ed Wood rose from the grave, only with a better sense of direction and special effects.

Just to give you guys an idea of how long I've been waiting to see this film, I first wrote about it last Halloween (see post) while it was still making its rounds at independent screenings and festival circuits. Fast forward to present day and I now hold in my hand the unholy grail of recent horror cinema... or is it?

The plot, like oh so many of those classic fright films, revolves around a slightly mad scientist who has invited a group of young people to his castle by offering them each a chance to inherit his vast estate and resources. Each member arrives single file as Bela Reinhardt (played by a stone-faced Ron Chaney) proceeds to [annoyingly] deliver psychological profiles on each ad nauseam. There's some spooky, Scooby-Doo type shenanigans that unfold and then Bela delivers his pièce de résistance... he's actually *GASP* a werewolf! I won't spoil the second half of the "twist," suffice to say by that point the surprise has pretty much been spoiled anyway.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: 30 Days Of Night | Dark Days

These are indeed 'Dark Days.'

When the film adaptation for 30 Days of Night first came out back in 2007 I had just really fallen into my full blown Steve Niles phase, devouring every comic and graphic novel that IDW had so thoughtfully republished in triplicate. The combination of Niles enthusiasm for the genre and Ben Templesmith's moody artwork created the perfect storm of gritty, noir storytelling that previous horror comics (post-E.C.) just couldn't seem to nail down.

From there I followed Templesmith to his equally (if not moreso) enjoyable Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse series (It Only Hurts When I Pee, Calimari Rising) and managed to find a few new books that I liked from Niles (Aleister Arcane), but it was really that first book that reignited a spark of interest in comics for me. Then of course came the movie and I eagerly attended the midnight screening, book tightly clutched in one hand popcorn in the other, only to leave with a lingering sense of dissatisfaction.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: Vampirella (1996)

"Thirsty for justice, she'll settle for blood."

Over the years Vampirella has become known as a venerable sex symbol for all things red and sticky (namely as the patron saint for fans of skin tight red bikini costumes and blood-sucking fiends everywhere). Her fame comes mostly from her long-standing background as the creation of über-fanboy Forrest J. Akcerman, not to mention her decades long histories with both Warren Publishing and Harris Comics which have likely aided more than a few fanboys through puberty. On the other Vampirella's film adaptations have been less than kind.

In the first attempt to bring the busty vixen to theaters in the mid-70's (for more information visit The Unofficial Hammer Films), both Hammer and Vampirella saw their fair share of setbacks (Hammer Films was shut down shortly after abandoning the project). That story reportedly featured Peter Cushing as a wizard named Pendragon, model/actress Barbara Leigh as Vampirella and plenty of risqué, karate-fueled female action. To think, what an obscure Hammer Horror treasure that would have been.

What we got instead is 1996's direct-to-video effort by director Jim Wynorski (976-EVIL 2: The Astral Factor, Ghoulies IV) who has apparently since gone on to direct a string of rather lackluster, "Skinemax-inspired" films such as The Bare Wench Project and House on Hooter Hill. Looking back then, one might see how Wynorski first cut his teeth, so to speak, with this sci-fi, softcore porn adaptation of Vampirella. I might further preference that schlockmiester Roger Corman is also attached as Executive Producer, so... yeah.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: Superstition (1982)

The victims who died were the lucky ones.

With a company as large as Anchor Bay, there's sure to be more than a few fright flicks that really belong locked away in a closet instead of being re-packaged for unsuspecting consumption. Superstition, originally released in 1982, is one such film whose frustratingly uneven, revenge-themed storyline focuses less on plot development and more on low-budget special effects.

A weird sort of film that falls somewhere in-between Pumpkinhead and The Amityville Horror (never quite reaching too far towards either story), Superstition aka The Witch opens with a generic love scene in which a frightened, teenage girlfriend tries to persuade her horny man-meat to leave the spooky old makeout spot for something more "romantic." Of course, this is all really a ploy to lure the viewer into a cheap fright gag whereupon the real terror begins.

Essentially, this opening scene sets the precedence for the frustration that unfolds throughout the entire movie. Cut to the next day where our hero, Rev. David Thompson, is introduced followed by Inspector Sturgess (hereby known as Detective Dipshit), his partner #1, and perhaps the most bizarre attempt at a red herring ever, Arlen the Caretaker. While most of the characters who come and go before the film's conclusion are given plausible roles for being in the story, Arlen seems to be the most unnecessary element of all. His only purpose seems to be to give the viewer a reason to doubt the supernatural elements of the plot, but when you only see him 2-3 times during the course of the movie it's hard to even remember who he is.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Trailer Terrors: Machete (2010)

"They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!"

Having veered away from box office reviews for the past week or so I felt safe and eager to see Robert Rodriguez's latest slaughterfest, Machete, with the anticipation of over-the-top violence and gratuitous nudity that awaited me. What I experienced instead was a film that seemed willingly to sell its sizzle without offering the viewer any steak, only half-fulfilling either of its lauded incentives. Perhaps that's what happens when you try to make a moral-deprived exploitation film with actors who actually have morals.

To be fair Rodriguez has a steady stream of solid films under his belt and perhaps part of the blame could be that he only co-directed this film with former editor (and first time director) Ethan Maniquis, but I feel that my expectations weren't too lofty. Given that Rodriguez's El Mariachi trilogy dabbled in the same cultural memes, I had anticipated Machete to fall somewhere between there and Planet Terror in terms of tone and stylization.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Head Games: Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Get the hot girl. Defeat her evil exes. Hit love where it hurts.

Despite its poor box office earnings I found Scott Pilgrim vs The World to be a really entertaining and fun film that, seemed to possess the necessary mix of glammed-out special effects and fight sequences while maintaining some solid storytelling and characterization. Having since taken my daughter to see the film she's been devouring the original graphic novels as well as expressing an interest in playing the appropriately titled video game tie-in, Scott Pilgrim vs The World: The Video Game. I have to say, much like the film, it's tons of retro-inspired fun.

A somewhat separate (but familiar) storyline than either the books or the film adaptation, Scott Pilgrim vs The World: The Video Game is a cleverly constructed homage to many of the greatest 8-bit games of my misspent youth sitting in front of a Super Nintendo. Everything from all 3 Mario Bros. games to Sonic the Hedgehog is referenced here from its beat'em-up style of gameplay to the different ways in which each character exits the level.

Continue reading...

Tweet

Printed Perversions: Nancy in Hell #2

"Don't worry about the goo... just hold me tight!"

When we last left our chainsaw-welding, scene-chewing heroine she had been 1) violated by demon succubi, 2) saved by a mysterious stranger, 3) attacked by devil dogs and 4) surrounded by a horde of undead who subsequently had their heads explode thanks to the almighty power of Satan... er, Lucifer. Issue #2 picks up right where the previous issue left off with Nancy's confrontation with the wingless fallen angel whereupon the "light-bearer" drops a lengthy monologue on us in the form of uninspired (and stereotypical) representations of God, Heaven and the Heavenly Host (angels). One twist does come in the origins of Hell which, as opposed to being a creation of God, is actually the manifestation of Lucifer's guilt and sorrow given form by something known only as the Darkness.

We also learn a little more about the mysterious Mr. Macabre who, as it turns out, isn't quite that complicated of a character as I had hoped. Instead, he fills more a rogue demon kind of role similar to the Violator in McFarlane's Spawn series. He even shapeshifts in a far more hideously grotesque form which is admittedly pretty visually stunning. Nonetheless, besides an unprovoked penis joke and the insinuation that Hell is something of a living organism, his appearance in the issue does little to move the story along.

Continue reading...

Tweet